Thoughts to Ponder

1. Nothings else ruins the truth like stretching it.

2. He who angers you controls you.

3. God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

4. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.

5. Never give the devil a ride as he will always want to drive.

Thoughts to Ponder

1. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.

2. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

3. Do not wait for six strong men to take you to church (on your last day above earth).

4. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

5. Be Ye fishers of men... you catch them and he will clean them.

6. Exercise daily... walk with God.

7. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.

8. Most people want to serve God but only in an advisory position.

9. Give Satan an inch and he will give you a ruler.

10. Plan ahead... it was not raining when Noah built the Ark.

Thoughts to Ponder

1. We don't change God's message. His message changes us.

2. When praying, do not give God instructions... just report for duty.

3. The church is prayer conditioned.

4. When God ordains, He sustains.

5. Do not put a question mark where God has put a period.

Thoughts to Ponder

1. Give God what is right... not what is left.

2. Man's way leads to hopeless end while God's ways leads to an endless hope.

3. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

4. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.

5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma, but never let him be the period.

Pinoy Jokes

Street Vendor : "bili na kayo ng relo!
gold watch ito!
pag namuti, white gold!
pag huminto stopwatch!"

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GF: Hu hu hu hu bakit natin ginawa ito?
Hindi na ako virgin at dalawang beses pa natin ginawa!
BF: Ano? Isa lang ah?!
GF: Bakit, hindi na ba natin uulitin mamaya?!

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Couple talking:
Wife: Hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
Husband: Hello!? Electrician ba ako?
Wife: Eh di pkigawa na lang hagdan natin.
Husband: Hello!? Karpintero ba ako?
Umalis c husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa bahay.
Tinanong niya wife nya kung sino gumawa ng trabaho.
Wife: Kasi kanina a man saw me crying, sabi ko dami sira dito sa bahay.
So he offered to help in exhange of either sex or bake ako ng cake.
Husband: So pinag-bake mo siya ng cake?
Wife : Hello?! Baker ba ako?!

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ANG MARRIED LIFE....
May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig sa karaoke ay inabot ng 5 am.
Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-text ng:
"HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO. UWI NA KO!"

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Sa harap ng nursery window -
Friend: Pare, pag laki ng anak mo, am sure magaling mag-drive.
Dad: Bakit, pare, malaki ba ang kamay?
Friend: Hindi. Kasi kamukha siya ng driver ninyo!

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Husband came home from church, suddenly lifted his wife and carried her.
Wife: Why? Did the Pastor tell you to be romantic like this?
Husband: No! He told me to carry my cross!

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Friend: "Wow, pare, ganda ng sapatos mo, ah!"
Husband: "Oo. Surprise gift ng kumare mo!"
Friend: "Surprise? Ano occassion?"
Husband: "Wala. Nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama namin kagabi!"

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Health Advisory: "Beer contains female hormones, and can turn men into women.
After 5 pints.... men become talkative, unreasonable, irritable, cry for nothing, and urinate while sitting!"

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WIFE: I'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: Kaya nga! Kung may balak ka, GAWIN MO NA!!!

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WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya "GO TO HELL".
Kaya ito uwi agad ako.

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Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na.
HEHEHEHE!

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Population policies of countries:
China : Stop at 1 child.
Singapore : Stop at 2 children
Philippines: STOP AT 4 A.M.!

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RUSSIAN: We're 1st in space.
USA : We're 1st in the moon.
ERAP: We'll be the 1st in the sun.
USA : You can't go there, you'll burn.
ERAP: We're not stupid, we'll go there at NIGHT!

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Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!

HAHAHAHA! Joke lang po and pikon, talo! :)